“Mama, you know what Tom told me today?” my son said as he dropped his backpack by the door.
“What did he say, sweetheart?” I asked, half-expecting a story about Pokémon cards or recess fun.
He looked at me, a little unsure.
“Somebody called me with an F word. What’s an F word, Mama?”
For a split second, I froze.
That one innocent question opened a window into a moment I hadn’t fully prepared for, the day my little boy would bring home a word that didn’t belong in his world yet.
When Kids Hear “Bad Words” Before We Expect Them To
Whether your child is in kindergarten or grade school, it’s almost inevitable, they’ll hear inappropriate words at some point. Maybe from other kids, maybe on YouTube, maybe even from adults on the street.
As parents, our instinct is to protect them, to make sure their innocence stays intact.
But how we respond in that moment matters more than the word itself.
Instead of reacting with shock or shame, I took a deep breath and decided to turn this moment into a gentle teaching opportunity.
How I Responded (And Why It Mattered)
took a deep breath and smiled gently.
“Well, sweetheart,” I said, “the F word is a word that some people use when they’re angry or upset. It’s not a nice or respectful word, and it’s not one that we use in our family.”
He tilted his head. “But why do people say it then, Mama?”
I paused for a moment, realizing how innocent his question was. He wasn’t trying to say it, he was trying to understand it.
So I explained,
“Sometimes people say bad words because they don’t know how to express their feelings in a better way. Maybe they’re upset or frustrated, and that’s how they let it out. But as Muslims, we are taught to use kind words, even when we’re angry.”
His eyes lit up with curiosity. “So Muslims don’t say bad words?”
I smiled and said,
“No, my love. Allah teaches us to speak good, kind words. The Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said, ‘Whoever believes in Allah and the Last Day should speak good or remain silent.’ That means if we don’t have something nice to say, it’s better to stay quiet.”
He thought for a second, then nodded proudly. “So if I get angry, I can say, ‘I’m mad!’ instead of saying bad words.”
“That’s perfect,” I said, hugging him tight. “That’s exactly what good Muslims do.” 💖
Turning Awkward Moments Into Teachable Ones
That small conversation reminded me that faith and parenting go hand in hand.
Every moment, even the awkward, unexpected ones,can be a chance to nurture our children’s akhlaaq (good character).
Here are a few gentle parenting tips that helped me:
- Stay calm and curious.
Kids mirror our reactions. If we panic, they panic.
Responding calmly helps them feel safe to ask questions. - Explain simply, without shame.
You don’t have to go into adult meanings. Just describe it as “a hurtful or disrespectful word.” - Offer alternatives.
Teach phrases like “I’m angry,” “That hurt my feelings,” or “I need a break.” - Model respectful communication.
Our kids are always watching and learning how to handle frustration from us.
What I Learned as a Mom
That night, I thought about how fast children absorb everything around them, not just words, but feelings, tones, and attitudes.
We can’t control the world, but we can shape how they process it.
By guiding them through faith, we give them a compass that keeps them steady, even when the world isn’t gentle.
And sometimes, one curious little question, like “What’s the F word?”, becomes the perfect reminder that our role isn’t just to protect their ears, but to nurture their hearts. 🌙
So if your child ever asks, “Mama, what’s the F word?” , take a deep breath. You don’t need the perfect answer, just a kind one. Use it as an opportunity to plant a small seed of faith, respect, and understanding. Because parenting isn’t just about teaching what’s wrong, it’s about showing them the beauty of what’s right. 💕
